We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. Our latest topic: What to do when your partner wants sex more than you do.

Q: Do you have advice for what to do when you and your partner are on different pages about how much sex you should be having? My boyfriend always wants to have sex, but my sex drive is way lower (he would be happy with sex every day, while maybe 2-3 times a month would be fine for me). I’ll admit that sometimes I turn him down because he can be so demanding and whiny when he initiates, and it turns me off. I don’t want to break up, but I don’t want to fake being into it when I’m not. What should I do?

A: In my experience as a therapist, this is the most common argument couples have about sex by far. I think a lot of people operate under the belief that “healthy” or “normal” couples are supposed to always want sex at exactly the same time.Read More